stealyoursoul | Hadriel Inbox

You killed a girl. She's practically a fucking child, what's wrong with you? I let you into my goddamn house.

[Well, he figured this was coming. He just hadn't expected Seel to be the first one to want to chew him out for it.]

Did she tell you she asked me to do it?

No she didn't. And no, it doesn't matter. You should have enough sense not to do that. You're the goddamn adult. Or you should have been. So what is it? Do you not have a soul of your own? What kind of fucking monster kills a girl because she asked him to do it? That didn't tip you the fuck off?

You ever think that maybe the world would be better off if someone ate you instead?

[Seel goes for the jugular when he gets angry. Don't give him any dirt on you Leo, or he'll do his best to use it against you like an bitchy teen and then try and lock you up in his own private prison. He'll find a place. There are plenty of empty rooms, right?]

In case you haven't noticed, she was consumed by guilt and was truly sorry for what she'd done. Which is more than I can say about you and your sins. She wanted to make amends for what she'd done, so I gave her the peace she was looking for. Now she has a fresh start and a chance to do better.

Fuck you. I don't need to justify my actions to someone like you.

[A sinner, he means.]

You base guilt on how willingly someone is to let them kill you? Do you have any idea how completely fucked up that is? Who the hell are you to make that fucking decision? To say whether I have or have not made amends based on the work I have done versus someone else rolling over and dying.

And in case you forgot, that someone was still a young woman who probably shouldn't have even been making that decision in the first place. Fresh start? She's fucking traumatized.

Fuck you.

And I can't believe I let you fuck Swift.

I base guilt off whether or not someone is actually sorry for what they've done. You know how often I've encountered that? Not often enough. You said yourself you weren't sorry for what you'd done. Abigail was. What I did was a mercy for a soul like her's.

She was damaged a long time before I did anything to her. I'll accept responsibility for killing her, but you can't break what's already broken.

Ouch. I'm wounded truly. Got anything else you'd like to yell at me while you've got the chance?

[Seel doesn't respond for a while. Like a couple of days.]

Yes, you can.

Edited (icon) 2018-09-18 22:49 (UTC)

[It takes Seel so long to respond that Leo's just assumed he's given up in a huff when the reply finally comes back in.]

And you know this from personal experience?

Yes.

You can always break something more. Or someone.

That was never my intention with her. I was trying to help.

Well bang up job there.

Maybe next time, don't help.

I love how everyone sits there on their high horse, but I didn't see anyone else even attempting to help her. She wanted absolution from what she'd done and not one person bothered to do anything to help her achieve that goal. Everyone likes to be there with empty platitudes, but at least I actually did SOMETHING about it. Maybe it wasn't a perfect solution, but I don't see Abigail condemning me for it. She thanked me.

Maybe think next time about how it might affect her then. Actions have goddamn consequences. Your intentions mean nothing.

Well, excuse me for not realizing how coming back to life would affect things. People don't do that where I'm from.

And you obviously didn't even think about it. Did you forget Hope resurrects people? What could even be your excuse?

I had no idea if the gods were even coming back at that point. If she stayed dead, then she would be at peace. If she did manage to come back, she'd get that second chance she so desperately wanted.

why?

Will you listen if I give an answer or do you just want to yell at me?

「He changes to video and speaks softly, it's almost sad, truly.」

I have no intention to yell at you, I'm too tired to do so.

「It's easy to tell this place and people have taken a toll on him.」

I just want answers.

[Leo switches as well, black smudges where his eyes should be showing up on the camera.]

I did it because she asked me to. She was tormented by what she had done and I wanted to give her the peace and repentance she desired.

[In Leo's mind, what he had done was a good and righteous act. Anyone else would be hard-pressed to change his mind.]

「If Atem feels any discomfort at the view he doesn't really show it more than staring a second or two longer than he should. He's seen some gruesome stuff along the way. But he shakes his head slowly.」

But you didn't... She will never forget what she did. How could that help her any if at any reminder the guilt will not leave her alone? A mercy kill is useless in this place. Her soul wasn't renewed, nothing has changed.

Edited 2018-09-18 08:25 (UTC)

I took away the portion of her soul that had been corrupted by sin. It was purified by the act. Death, unfortunately, is just a consequence of having one's soul removed from the body.

[Human beings weren't meant to have that happen to them. Only bad things would have happened to a person who actually lived through the process.]

Now she has a second chance to do better. [At the mention of a mercy kill, a muscle twitches in his cheek.] I don't need to be reminded. It was me, her, and Angus alone in this place. Two kids left alone with a monster. Better to let her die on her own terms than be stuck with me.

[There's something he implies with what he's leaving unsaid. That he would have hurt them both eventually whether he wanted to or not. Better to have had it be Abigail's choice and have her be at peace than to do it against her will when she was terrified.]

You fragmented her soul?

「It's the first time there is fear in his eyes when looking at Leo. That doesn't sound better than killing her, not to someone whose all life has been taught that the soul is the most important part of everyone, the body is but a vessel, but the soul is everything they are.」

No. Sin is an unnatural thing to have on a soul. I purified it.

[There's a distinct difference in his mind.]

「Okay, okeiiii... that doesn't sound too bad. Still calling BS on that.」

How does that work if she still cannot get over what she did?

I removed the physical aspect. Part of what Abigail kept telling me is that she felt dirty, tainted by what she's done. Purifying her soul can put her in the right mindset to begin to heal.

She'll need more than what you did, I hope you're aware of that.

I'm not so naive as to think what I did fixes all her problems. I was just trying to give her a fresh start.

It didn't work.

「He was not there when she came back, he was not there when she would still reminiscence what she did and what she did not do, he did not dry her tears, he just left her alone in the dark.

This is going nowhere, he gives him one last reproaching stare and the screen goes black.」

[ Continued from here. If okay with you? ]

[ Curufin is still standing by the shack that shelters the ice hole he hacked. He looks worried for Leo when he sees the stressed look on the other's face. He replies softly. ] Tell me what's happening?

Hope is gone and so I have no source of food.

[His eyes can't show any emotion in their smudged out state, but he looks grim.]

If he doesn't come back soon, all hell is going to break

He'd better get his ass back here soon.

How long do you think you can hold out?

A couple of weeks, maybe three, but that's cutting it really close. Someone offered to let me kill them, but things are complicated there. [He had no doubt that while Harlan wouldn't make a fuss, Michael would not take it so well, and likely sic the Visitor on him again.] People threw a fit last time I killed someone and Abigail willingly did it too.

[He just sighs heavily, that kind like the weight of the world is on his shoulders.]

There's a reason I never got to know my food at home.

[It's easy to kill people when he didn't give a fuck about them. A lot harder now that he's gotten to know some people here.]

I know about Abigail. She told me that you were both hoping it would help her. I am very sorry she experienced death, but I do not hold it against you anymore than she did. And you sound worried about taking up the offer of this unknown person. [ The word complicated rather suggests this! ]

Not much you can do about keeping people emotionally at arm's length in Hadriel. It's a small town, and nobody does well if they stay isolated. We've all got to have friends and friendly acquaintances.

[ He stops to slap a glove against his sleeve, knocking some snow and ice off his arm. ]

There are some questions I've never asked you. Obviously, Abigail got her soul back after you were through with it. Did she get it back the same as it was before? She seemed to think so.

Edited 2018-12-14 09:46 (UTC)

There will be retribution if I do feed of him. Someone close to him isn't very fond of me. And without Hope here, he's not gonna come back anytime soon.

[That's putting it lightly. Last time, he and the Visitor had done their absolute best to kill each other. Harlan had to intervene then. Without him there, there was nothing to stop him and Michael from finally doing it this time.

He snorts inelegantly at Curufin's assurance that he needs friends. He does not, thank you very much. He is perfectly fine with being a monster hermit for the rest of his life. He can't lie to people. Only to himself.]

I don't know. People don't come back from the dead where I'm from, so I don't know how it affects souls here.

Hmm. That does present a problem.

[ Curufin chuckles in response to Leo's snort. One of the things he likes about Leo is his directness! If he's a loner, then so be it. Curufin, who once had isolationist tendencies himself, understands. ]

Where I'm from, mortals don't come back from the dead, but Elves sometimes do. Even if our bodies die, our spirits retain the memory of the body and may be able to re-manifest it. As beings, we fall about halfway between mortals and those immense spirits, the Maiar, who can take any form they like and are servants to the Valar, our gods. We Elves are more limited, we can't take any form but an Elvish one, but we retain the Maiar's strange relationship between being and the intention to be, body being merely the visible part of soul.

[ He smiles a little. ] I tell you this not to bore you with Elvish philosophy, but to explain why I may be able to help you. Elves have very large souls. I may be able to spare some of my fiery soul-energy, enough to keep you from having to devour anybody else. If you're interested, I'll make a suggestion as to how.

[Leo will never get used to people offering themselves as meals to him. The amount of self-sacrificial mindset it takes to offer must be immense. He considers Curufin's offer carefully and can see only one problem in the solution.]

Unless you have a way of splitting that soul energy off yourself, I'm afraid that I'd have to take your whole soul, and kill you. It's an all or nothing deal with my powers unfortunately.

[ He thinks about that. Could he truly deliver some of that energy to Leo without actually dying? Does he even want to try? It would complicate what is actually a very simple situation. He scratches his head, thinks some more, and then replies.]

All right. Let's keep it straightforward. You can have my whole soul, and I'll die and then attempt to return without the intervention of the gods.

[ They're talking about what could be a dire event for Curufin, but then, he's Curufin. He can't help chuckling a little. ] I have no idea how the soul of an Elf might affect you. You might be reeling, stumbling, falling-down drunk on my energy!

I saw that you were back.
Thought I should say sorry.
You know, for trying to kill you.

Well, I was kinda pissed off about it, but after all the shit I experienced in the past year, I've reached a place of being alright with it.

Wait, really?
Before you disappeared, you seemed ready to start a mob.

It was a looooooong year. Remember how I kept saying that my powers don't come with an instruction manual? Turns out that when Sunai kill and take the soul of someone they truly love, that person's soul gets stuck in their mind. So I've been an incorporeal spirit in my brother's head for the past year.

[Hence why he's a little more chilled out then previously.]

Your brother killed you?
What happened there?
And what's it like being the incorporeal spirit in someone else's head? Just curious.

Did I not mention that before? That's how I ended up here the first time.
I tried to make him kill his girlfriend in order to toughen him up. As you can see, that backfired spectacularly.
Well, I spent my time trying to influence my brother into becoming a proper Sunai that could protect the city. It actually worked even though he thought he was going a little crazy. Though it is kind of dull when you can only talk to one person and they still kind of resent you.

You told him to kill his girlfriend?
God, I might've killed you too.
I mean, unrelated to the time I actually tried to.
Seriously, dick move.
You didn't influence him to be an asshole, did you?

She wasn't his girlfriend at the time!! She was just someone he'd known for like three months.

[Leo clearly isn't getting the reason why this was a bad thing.]

I resent that remark. And no, he's too nice to ever be like me. I just taught him that all his whining and complaining about wanting to be human doesn't matter when there's a city full of people being devoured by monsters and you're the only one who can stop them. He had to embrace being a monster instead of trying to run away from it.

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video (backdated to 11/22)

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